Keep going.



Rocky Balboa. It’s definitely a guy’s movie, but I love it nonetheless. If you really take a look at it, you will see that it’s really a love story. Seriously! And in many ways, I can see my husband and I in both of those characters. See, my husband is a huge boxing fanatic. Boxing is his life. I myself was a very shy and introverted person and it wasn’t until I met my husband that I finally started to come out of my shell.


Like the characters, we too have struggled through out our life together. Life hasn’t always been easy for us. We’ve lost our home, our business, jobs, and a baby. It’s been tough, but like these two characters, we keep moving forward. This quote stands out so much and it’s just so true, in our story anyways. Right now, life is starting to turn a new leaf and it seems like we’ll be okay.


I won’t lie but sometimes I do think I will just go into some sort of mental breakdown. I’ve come close to it several times. Heck! There have been times that I wish I could just runaway from it all. Wouldn’t that be easy? Then again, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy moments like these when my son comes up to me and gives me a kiss out on the random or when my husband comes home from work and hands me a bag with my favorite cinnamon roll. Those moments are the moments that keep me sane and going.


When we lost our baby (right before Michael), my life was done. I wanted to die. We had waited 5 years to finally start our family and it was taken from us. We waited for what seemed the perfect time for us and it was all gone. That’s when I knew even more, I wanted a child. We needed our child. So we tried one more time and were blessed. Around the same time we found out we were expecting, we lost our business. Oh yes, life decided to be a bitch to us one more time. Everything we  had worked hard for, all down the drain. What were we to do? I was pregnant and we had nothing. So off to find new jobs. Mind you, in this economy, that is hard to do, but luckily it was doable. It took my husband sometime, but he did it. So proud! Then came Michael. Our little miracle. He was what kept us going. He is our reason.


Life can get hectic and crazy. I’ve witnessed it. My friends have witnessed us go through it and us them, but we keep going. I know there are many of you who are struggling right now be it financially, health wise, or a loss of a dear loved one. Although it seems like there is no end to this dark tunnel, believe me, there will be light. I know that we ourselves aren’t entire out in the clear, but having our little special moments is what gets us through, so think of those. It’s also why I decided to name my blog after a lyric that is so near and dear to me:


Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.


I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.

--Lateralus by Tool.